Do you take any notice of “Sell by” or “Best before” dates when it comes to buying food? I do, but only when it comes to buying bread and pastries - not for much else.
My opinion is that those labels should read something like, “Best before August 1st - but it will still be OK for a few months after that”.
I made scrambled eggs on toast last week. Before I cracked open the eggs, the last four in the carton, I noticed that the “best before” date was, June 27th, more than four months ago. I cracked every one into a cup and sniffed it first before putting them into the bowl for scrambling. Each one was fine but just in case, I threw away the carton before Caroline saw it.
As I said in a post on this blog nearly nine years ago, in “Toast - The Proper Way” (click to see), it’s the “Baked on” day that I want to know with bread. I’ll decide when bread is still good to eat, thank you very much, not anyone else and it has nothing to do with the likelihood of bacterial contamination. It’s because two-day-old bread doesn’t have anything like the wonderful, pleasant taste of a freshly baked loaf.
Those of you who know me will be surprised to learn that there is an aspect of my behaviour that can sometimes irritate Caroline: I tend to count things and record the start of events.
I once told her that I’d been studying a sample of 30 Waitrose’s Grand Rustic loaves that I had bought over a period of nine weeks; the average weight was 271 grams; the heaviest had been 309 grams and the lightest was 243 grams. She didn’t appear to be at all interested although I was certain that really, she was.
Even after I’d told her that the median weight was 271.5 grams and the modal was 277, she still seemed indifferent. Unbelievable! And, she tells me that she’s a maths graduate. I’m beginning to have doubts.
At breakfast one morning, in an attempt to brighten her day, I asked Caroline if she was aware of the significance of the date, November 6th 2017.
It didn’t seem to me that she gave had given it much serious thought before she almost immediately answered, “No.”
“Really?” I was surprised and taken aback. “Think! I clearly remember telling you on that day that something was starting. You can’t have forgotten what it was?”
“For God’s sake! That was a year ago. Of course, I’ve forgotten.”
I didn’t want to start the day with a spat or an argument and so I kept quiet.
Two minutes later, the silence was broken. “Oh, go on, then. Tell me what happened on November 6th last year.”
“Hah, I knew you’d be interested.”
I held up a 500g Marmite jar. “On November 6th last year, I opened this jar for the first time. I told you I was going to see how long it lasted and it’s nearly all gone. Today or tomorrow, almost a year later, it will be empty. Remember now?”
“No …. I don’t.”
Those traces of Marmite still remaining in my 500g jar, are still as they were a year ago. It tastes the same, looks the same and has the same texture as it did on the day it was first opened. How can that be?
It has sat in a kitchen cupboard for a year, in temperatures that have ranged from 16°C during the winter months to 34°C on many occasions during the summer and there has been no effect on its texture or taste whatsoever. There are no signs of mould or deterioration at all. The “Best before” date is not until the end of March 2019 and so its stable, durable qualities must be well known.
Marmite has had the marketing catchphrase: "Love it or Hate it," but I can never remember meeting anyone who actually hated it. I do know of people who wouldn’t mind much if they never ate it again but none of them actually hate it.
I suppose, “Take it or Leave it,“ wouldn’t be much of an advertising slogan, would it?
Because no mould has appeared on it, I also wonder if Marmite has antiseptic qualities and could be applied to wounds in place of products like Savlon?
That would be a good slogan: “Marmite - spread it on bread, on toast or on gaping wounds”.
I was talking to Sandy the other day who, while visiting someone, was offered a snack that mostly consisted of thinly sliced, smoked salmon. The salmon had been left for several days, opened in its pack, in a kitchen cupboard and was a dull green colour around the edges and in parts. Sandy declined the offer.
“Great, all the more for me,” said her host, who then devoured the whole lot. That woman is still alive and well, several months later. I wonder how many foods have unrealistic “Best before” dates?
My obsession with recording start dates was another source of tension recently. This autumn, I lit our wood burning stove for the first time on October 27th. I thought that Caroline would be really interested to know this was the latest date for the first fire of the autumn/winter since 2012. That year it wasn’t lit until the 30th of October.
I also thought that while she was digesting that fascinating fact, she might be interested in knowing the earliest date our fire had been lit was September 16th, in 2014.
You must be as astonished as I was to learn she displayed no interest at all in that information and certainly no excitement at hearing any of those significant facts.
Indeed, she was so indifferent and unconcerned about it, that this morning, when I discovered that after 19 shaves I had to replace the old razor blade with a new one, I didn’t even bother telling her. Now, you know an interesting fact and she doesn’t.
Her loss!
