As
I have written before, I work, unpaid, as a classroom assistant in our local
primary school. The children in the school are aged from five to eleven and are
very different from the 11 – 19-year-olds that I used to teach in London. The children in the class that I assist are
aged 10 and 11.
One
morning I was met by a substitute teacher as Ms Hunte, the class teacher, was
away on a course. I introduced myself
and explained what kind of thing I normally did. The woman, Ms Devonne, started working with
the class and seemed to me to be doing a pretty good job. After about half an hour she needed to set up
a projector and was having some difficulty.
She needed time to sort it out and used her creative skills
to make time.
“Mr
Terry will talk to you,” she announced.
I
was put on the spot – again! (Different
teacher, same technique)
Some mathematical facts and oddities can be the basis for a diversion
needed at a time like this.
I
decided to put on a show:
Me
Who
would like to be astounded?
Class
6H They’re not streamed. H stands for Hunte, their class teacher.
Me,
me, me, me, me …………………
Me
I
will be astounded if anyone can tell me what astounded means.
Chander
It
means, amazed or astonished, Mr Terry.
Me
You’re
right and now I’m surprised and flabbergasted. I’m shocked and dumbfounded but
not surprisingly, speechless.
I
needed to distract them so I asked them to write down as many adjectives that
they could think of beginning with the letter ‘S’. While they had their heads down, I went and
wrote on the back of the whiteboard. The class couldn’t see what I was doing
and when a boy asked what I was doing, I told him I was having a pee.
Incidentally, I could be in trouble because of
that. Caroline warned me that Cayman
kids are unlikely to have never met anyone like me before and that they always
believe every word the teacher tells them. They are endearingly innocent and
naïve and the concepts of irony, sarcasm and taking the piss are completely
unknown to them. After 35 years of teaching in London, it is wonderfully
refreshing.
I checked once more and 6H confirmed that they were more than prepared
to be astounded and some of them were very eager to be amazed too.
Chander confided to me that she didn’t think they could be ready to be
both ‘astounded’ and ‘amazed’ as they are synonyms.
Me
Don’t
tell me what it is but think of any number that you are sure you can multiply
by 9.
Then, looking at 25 eager faces,
You
lot - do the same. Think of a number and
multiply it by 9. Make sure you’re right
by checking it with the multiplication table on the wall.
(They probably didn’t
need to check because they are all very good at their times tables. They learn them by rote and chanting one or two
aloud, at least once every day.
In
my opinion, rote learning is always effective.
It does not lead to understanding, but facts are learnt. 9 x 7 = 63 is a fact. The understanding of how and why nine sevens
are sixty-three is unimportant and unnecessary for everyday life.)
OK,
you have multiplied that number by 9. Your answer will either have one, two or
maybe three digits in it. If it has two or three digits, add them together and find
the total.
OK?
Everyone ready? …… Now take away 5 from that total.
When all the preparations were complete, I spoke
to Ms Devonne again.
Me
Ms
Devonne, If, 1 equals A, 2 equals B, 3 equals C and so on, work out the letter
that matches your number. Then think of a country that begins with that letter.
Done
that? OK.
Now
take the last letter of the country and think of an animal that begins with
that letter.
Right,
now take the last letter of the animal and think of a fruit that starts with
that letter.
Addressing the class,
I
will say a sentence and every time I pause I will point at Ms Devonne and she
will fill in the missing word.
This
is what happened:
“Yesterday
while visiting a zoo in FRANCE, I saw an ELEPHANT eating a TOMATO”
She
looked perplexed. The class didn’t look astounded and nobody looked very
amazed. I probably looked embarrassed.
I was desperate to try and salvage something.
Me
Did
anyone get anything different?
Some
of the children put up their hands and I pointed at Chander. Expecting the
worst, I asked her what she got.
“DENMARK,
KANGAROO and ORANGE,” she said.
There
were a few gasps of amazement from the other kids. Feeling very relieved and almost euphoric, I
swung the board around and then there were genuine gasps of astonishment because
on it I had written:
Yesterday, while visiting a zoo in DENMARK,
I saw a KANGAROO eating
an ORANGE
The
children were so excited because I had done what I had said I would do – I had
astounded them.
Only
Ms Devonne didn’t look too impressed. Then Chander ruined it all.
“What
number did you think of Ma’am?” she asked.
“I
can’t remember.”
“You
must be able to,” insisted Chandra. “What
was it? I thought of eight.”
When
the children had gone to lunch, a puzzled Ms Devonne told me that she couldn’t
see why it had gone wrong for her.
“What
number did you think of?” I asked.
“Seven,”
she said.
“What
are seven nines?”
“Fifty-six,”
she said.
--------------------------------------
This is why it should usually
work:
Any number multiplied by 9 = z,
and the digits of z added together will come to 9, eventually.
So, for example:
1 x 9 = 9
3 x 9 = 27 2 + 7 = 9
53 x 9 = 477 4 + 7 + 7 = 18 1 + 8 = 9
723496
X 9 = 6511464 6 + 5 + 1 + 1 + 4 + 6 +
4 = 27
2 + 7 = 9
And 9
– 5 is 4
So: if 1 = A, 2 = B, 3 = C, then 4 is ALWAYS ‘D’.
Apparently,
98% of people, when asked to think of a country beginning with ‘D’ think of
Denmark.
Virtually everyone then thinks
of Kangaroo. If someone buggers it up by saying, “Koala,” tell him or her that
the Latin name is koaloo eucalypto. It’s not but they won’t know that unless it’s
Chander.
Orange
is the only fruit most people can think of beginning with an ‘O’
When I tried it out on Caroline she came up with,
“a Camel eating an apple in Dominica. Perhaps it’s because of
where we live in the Caribbean.
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