186 What Nonsense

A few years ago, thinking that it would increase my vocabulary, I got into the habit of making a note of any new word I came across.  Recently, I added ‘valetudinarian’ to my Word List.  

When I began this procedure, I imagined that my vocabulary would expand rapidly but alas, it hasn’t.  When I scrolled through my list of about 60 words ranging from ‘aleatory’ to ‘xenodochial’, I found that I couldn’t remember the meaning of most of them.

How disappointing but I think it must be an age thing.  I wish I’d started that routine when I was much younger because there is a word that I found some 50 years ago that I do still remember. 

I never had the opportunity to use that word until, to my surprise and delight, I found that it was the answer to a clue in the Times Concise Jumbo Crossword.  

When I unearthed that word, I was a student working at the Birds Eye factory during the summer vacation.  Attired in white overalls with natty yellow epaulettes, I was a member of the Quality Control team. 

One of my work colleagues that summer was a young woman who had just completed her second year at Oxford.  Her knowledge and understanding of just about everything was so formidable that I was very wary of ever disagreeing with any fact she quoted or any opinion she held - she always seemed to be correct and a twelve-hour shift passes very slowly if the atmosphere is tense.

One afternoon, while putting pea samples into a ‘tenderometer’ to determine whether fields were ready for harvest, we were trying to think of words that were neither rude nor offensive to use instead of ‘nonsense’ as in, “You are talking nonsense.”

That evening, and now I can’t remember how, I found a word I had never come across before and, as during the forty-minute conversation that afternoon she hadn’t mentioned it, I assumed it would be new to her as well.  

Today, with Google, a task like that is quick and easy but all those years ago, any research to score a cheap point took time and determination.  I had both.

The following morning, I waited patiently.  The shift started at 6 a.m. and it wasn’t until our first break that I had the opportunity to say to her, “You’re talking pshaw”.

“What?” she asked, incredulously.  “Pshaw?”

“Yes.  It means rubbish,” I smirked, even though the expression on her face was rapidly draining my confidence.

“Oh dear,” she said quietly.  “Yes, I do know what it means and you are quite right that pshaw can mean rubbish or nonsense, but it is a word that is never written.  It is only ever spoken as an exclamation of irritation when someone wishes to indicate impatience…...or scorn,” she added after a meaningful pause.

“Also,” she continued, obviously enjoying my discomfort, “it’s been virtually obsolete since the mid-nineteenth century.”

We worked in virtual silence for the next 9 hours and a couple of days later, she was moved to work on the cod in breadcrumbs line.

*****

Expression of impatience (5)	P S H A W.
Aleatory  adj	depending on chance, random
Valetudinarian  n	a person unduly anxious about their health
Xenodochial  adj	hospitable, friendly