I’ve written before about how dreadful is "Look East", our regional news programme.
Lately, two aspects of the BBC national news bulletins have been irritating me. One of these issues is the compulsive need that the programme directors have to show visual puns whenever they can. None of them cause any harm but they sometimes detract from the importance of the story.
I was first aware of this practice more than a year ago. An early report on negotiations with the EU ended with the words,“Brussels is waiting to negotiate. The two-year clock is ticking.” On screen was Theresa May at her desk with a large wall clock behind her.
Theresa May’s leadership of the Conservative Party is under question. A report on it ended with the words, “The hold on her party could soon be swept away.” As this was said, the screen was filled with a shot of a road sweeper clearing fallen leaves from the gutter outside Number 10.
The images became less discreet. A reporter, holding an Ireland football shirt in one hand and a Northern Ireland shirt in the other, said, “It's the relationship between these two sides (the two sides of the Irish border) that is continuing to defy Brexit.” That visual pun was rather spoilt as both shirts were predominantly green.
An entirely positive Brexit report ended with sealed, cardboard boxes being loaded into a van as the voiceover said, “The Brexit deal is packed up and ready for delivery,” but as those cardboard boxes had virtually nothing to do with the story, it was all a bit strained.
The BBC sent a news team to Cammell Laird shipyard in Birkenhead. It seemed to me that the sole reason for that location was so that while the reporter said, "For more than 40 years the UK has been one of the key links in the EU supply chain,” the huge links in the chains used during the launching of ships could be shown on screen. The report was nothing to do directly with shipbuilding.
Some images are laughably silly. As a correspondent finished saying, “The government won’t say if EU rules will still apply after Brexit. We’ll have to see what pops up,” a piece of toast was seen popping out of a toaster. Well, that certainly made things clearer and I really wish I’d seen that before I voted.
Ramble 1: The toaster was in a café where the news crew had gone to ask people in cafés what they thought about Brexit.
I really don’t care at all about what the random, ill informed “man in the café” thinks about anything. What that usually ignorant and inarticulate person thinks is always immaterial.
Ill-informed people, commenting on any specific topic about which they have never given any serious thought, is of no value or of any interest at all to anyone. Why do all news channels give them airtime? It’s boring and it’s pointless.
Sometimes, the visual puns are quite subtle. There was a report on the conflict within the world of Rugby Union to do with the different interpretation of the laws in the northern and southern hemispheres. It ended with a shot of an international rugby player and the words, "Right now, Rugby Union’s north-south divide seems wider than ever.”
The player pictured was George North, the Welsh player but I suspect that most viewers wouldn’t have known that.
A somewhat subtle and understated example of a visual pun was in a report from the USA on the troubles Trump is having concerning his alleged links with Russia.
“No one was in the least bit concerned that Team Trump might be lying about his contacts with Russian figures,” said John Sopel, the BBC North America Correspondent.
As he said that, the screen was filled with a shot of piglets in a sty on a US farm.
Readers outside the UK need to know that in England a "porkie" is a lie because in rhyming slang, "pork pie" is a lie. Someone might say, “Stop telling porkies.”
If someone says that they think you are telling porkies, it's an almost polite way of saying they don't believe you.
If someone says that they think you are telling porkies, it's an almost polite way of saying they don't believe you.
Ramble 2: BBC News at Ten lasts for 30 minutes. Recently, there has been a tendency for five or more of those minutes to be devoted to a mini documentary that is not news. It may be informative and important but it isn’t news.
The Radio 4 radio news bulletin at midnight, always fills 25 - 30 minutes with solid news stories but two hours earlier, the television news viewers see something like a commentary suggesting that women who experienced trauma while giving birth are often left without support.
That is important but it is not the latest national news.
Some years ago, I mentioned to a friend who spent most of her working life in front of the television camera, that many news correspondents aren’t actually where they appear to be when they make their reports. She dismissed that suggestion out of hand.
Twice, I’ve seen news crews in action here, in Milton Keynes and just the lights that they use are enough to attract anyone’s immediate attention, never mind the possibly famous face and the attendant crew.
Last December, I remember watching television and seeing a reporter standing in the middle of the pavement in Oxford Street addressing the camera.
It was the last Saturday afternoon before Christmas and the pavement was teeming with pedestrians. Scores of shoppers walked either side of this stationary figure without any of them even glancing at the camera or at him.
I cannot believe that those crowds of shoppers could walk by, oblivious to his presence - where was he really?
I could be wrong about all that follows but look at this screenshot:
There’s a man who wants to be noticed. Do you think he’d miss a chance to be on television? When he left home this morning, he could only dream that he would be appearing on television with a chance to promulgate his ideas.
He appears to be walking very close to and just behind the reporter. He’s obviously in camera shot but I don't think it's the same camera that is covering the reporter because if it were, he would have noticed the lights and reacted to them. He isn’t anywhere near the reporter.
On most days, a brightly lit Norman Smith, reports for the BBC from parliament. I believe he’s there as the caption says but I doubt very much that he’s where he appears to be.
The man walking behind him hasn’t noticed the bright lights and amazingly, the party of school children haven’t either and we’ve all seen how children tend to react when they see a television camera.
This Look East reporter is on the pavement outside The Old Bailey, reporting on the trial of the Peterborough MP, Fiona Onasanya, for perverting the course of justice.
The man, approaching just a couple of yards away, hasn’t noticed him and he isn’t even looking anywhere near him. I hope he didn’t bump into him but I don’t think that he could have done because the reporter was probably 120 miles away in Norwich at the time.
I only believe that these reporters really are where they appear to be when I can see their feet.
Of course, there is just a remote possibility that I’m wrong about all this.
I am glad to have got all this off my chest. It means that I’ll actually be able to listen to what’s being said in future news bulletins and not just study the pictures to confirm my theories.
What was the referendum result?
